07 September 2010

my testimony




my dad accepted the message and was baptized when i was 6 years old. he was then a denominational preacher and was called out only through reading the spoken words. he faced a lot of struggles - but that would be his testimony to tell. :) 


i grew up with my dad being the pastor of the local church. like all the other children of ministers, i have been such a headache. i hated being so different from my friends and schoolmates. my hair was too long i was sure i looked too old. and the skirt! i had to wear a skirt during the school's intramurals! our radio would only be switched on when my dad needed to listen to the news. i could only watch television when we were visiting our grandparents. and every time i'd try to wear lipstick my dad would preach about jezebel. i have always been scared of dogs so imagine how frustrating it was for me. 

all my friends were catholics except for me and oh, how i pitied myself! the only times i was proud to say that i was not a catholic was during the mass sessions in school. i had a reason to be late. :)

it was when i turned 18 when i finally found the courage to openly disobey. for the first time, i was able to wear jeans. i was able to cut my hair. i was able to do anything and everything i wanted. i felt free.

finally i could talk to my friends - and they could talk to me - just like i am one of them. it was only then when i realized that they actually admired my long beautiful hair. they actually thought that i could wear a skirt in a very smart way. strangely, nobody even thought that i looked old. 

a couple more years, i was already part of the world. i was exactly like them, or so i thought. those that get close to me still found me weird.

the overused "been there, done that" statement applied to me. i got in a lot of mess. wrecked a few homes. embarrassed myself in every disgusting way. worse, i was proud of myself i even felt guilty for not feeling guilty.

it lasted for almost a decade.  

in january last year, in another country, resting home after work, when i received a message from my dad. it said: "do you know that the flesh of adam is the beast?"

of course i didn't understand it. i've heard the doctrine of the serpent's seed when i was a child, and in no way did my dad's message made sense.

but somehow, that message stirred something in me. i had a very strong urge to go back to God. 

i was working in a non-christian country. i was a hundred percent sure there was no end time message church there. but just the same, the following day, i searched the whole yellow pages. i searched the internet. i spoke to every filipino i know and asked about their religions. nothing. i started from the time i reached the office until the late afternoon and still i didn't find anything. i already knew i wouldn't find anything, but i was still frustrated. i tried again. this time, i searched on the word "eagle." i found a website. it was based there! 

i called my dad. he cried.

i sent emails, i met one of the administrators, and the following day, after 10 long miserable years, i was, with my brother, attending a church service, fellowshipping with the brethren.

it felt so glorious. i couldn't believe the warmth i felt inside. 

my dad started sending me messages about the two fold being, about the rapture, about who i am. i was so confused!

i started chatting with sis sweet. i knew her already when i was in college, but we wouldn't even exchange hello's. she thought i was too worldly - i thought she looked too old! anyway she, too, was sharing to me messages about the two fold being, about the rapture, and about who i am.

i asked the elders of the local church in qatar. they gave me the sincere answers expected from end time message believers.

i started researching. asking. listening. after all, i am an elect. i cannot be deceived. nothing made sense to me, but there was a nagging question in my head.

i was already in the world. i was already lost. i was a backslider, along with my whole family, including my dad. for 10 years we were already cold, frozen even. why would the devil bother to bring us a wrong teaching? why would the devil even bother about us? there must be something there.

no, sir, it wasn't the devil. it was my theopany.

i had the experiences i need. i was ready to wake up. 

and i did. now i remember.


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